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Written Peer Response
Essay writer’s name___Patrice______________ Peer’s name___O’Brien__________
Instructions: Respond to the asterisked items first. If you have time, respond to the rest in numerical order. Do not confer with the writer when answering the questions.
*1. What were your reactions when first reading this draft? List some of them here.
I felt like she did a good job of organizing her paper to get her message across, like in the beginning when she starts off my giving a synopsis of the story line, which makes it easy for those who haven’t really seen the movie
2. Does the essay have a purpose beyond fulfilling the requirements of the assignment?
YES NO What do you see as that purpose?
Yes indicating to readers that there is more to the Notebook than just a sappy movie
*3. Who would be interested in the profile provided in this essay?
Those who like the Notebook and or any one who’s curious about the movie
4. To what audience is the essay directed, and is this the appropriate audience for the subject?
To any one who is searching for true love
5. List two examples that show how this essay appeals to the needs of this audience. Refer to specific tone, word choice, details included, format, and so forth.
a. the intro summarizes the story for the reader making it easy to catch on
b. she pick specific parts in the movie to make references and that really helps those who have seen the movie relate better.
*6. What is the essay’s main point or thesis? Write the thesis sentence down here.
That any one can find true love
Is the thesis specific enough? YES NO If not, make suggestions for narrowing the focus.
yes
*7. Reread each paragraph, noting whether it is related to the thesis of the essay.
Par. 1 YES NO Par. 5 YES NO
Par. 2 YES NO Par. 6 YES NO
Par. 3 YES NO Par. 7 YES NO
Par. 4 YES NO Par. 8 YES NO
*8. Has the writer sufficiently covered of the topic, discussing the who, what, where, when, how, and why of the profile? Comment:
yes
*9. Comment on the relevance and effectiveness of the information conveyed below.
a. Are the essay’s facts interesting? YES NO SOMEWHAT
Please note any facts you found uninteresting or off the subject:
Yes all facts are interetsing
b. Does the essay make clear why all the information is significant?
YES NO UNSURE If not, explain here:
Yes the essay is clear
c. Is the information understandable to you? YES NO Comment:
yes
d. Is the language clear, with technical terms defined? YES NO
List terms that need to be defined here:
yes
10. In which paragraphs would you like to see more information (facts and examples)?
Par. 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 Why?
*11. Comment on the handling of the sources of the profile.
a. What person or persons were interviewed?
I don’t know who she could have interviewed because it’s really an opinion question
b. Explain what makes the person interviewed an appropriate source of information.
I don’t know who she would interview
c. What other sources of information are used? (List them.)
the movie, the novel, other reviews
d. Are quotations, facts, and paraphrases attributed and documented clearly and correctly?
yes
12. Does the introduction
a. Get readers’ attention? YES NO
b. Present the thesis? YES NO
c. Introduce readers to the essay’s perspective? YES NO
d. Comments:
13. Does the conclusion
a. Remind you of what has been said? YES NO
b Provide something new to think about? YES NO
c. Round the essay off smoothly? YES NO
d. Comments: